Uber Adventures Continue

I’ve written previously about my experiences with Uber (a taxi service) and the interesting drivers I’ve met (SEE https://obsessionswordsandeverythinginbetween.wordpress.com/2015/01/31/the-turkish-uruguayan-uber-driver/) and I’ve got another one I’d like to share.

Just a few days ago, upon my return to Washington D.C., I had a driver who hailed from the capitol of Ethiopia, Addis Ababa.  He took me on a journey through different parts of D.C. than I normally would go from Union Station due to construction blocking the usual route.  He also took me on a unique spiritual journey as he preached his christian beliefs to me.

Being a loosely practicing Christian, I was familiar with many of his points, but I’ll admit that I didn’t spend so much time thinking about Jesus, a huge part of his speech.

“More people need to keep Jesus in their lives.  If we had Jesus in our lives, there would be less problems.  If we had Jesus in our lives, there would be less hate and everyone would be happy with what they do.  I’m a taxi driver, but I’m happy with what I do because I see Jesus everywhere.”

I don’t consider myself highly spiritual, however, this talk did strike a chord within me.  While I don’t believe everyone necessarily needs to believe in Jesus or Christianity to do good and find fulfillment and happiness, I think that spirituality and the beauty in religion is often forgotten, especially with technology constantly bombarding us.  I know most people [around me] who are my age (late teens, early twenties) generally don’t spend as much time today thinking about religion as they probably did decades ago, or perhaps as those in other countries and cultures.

I don’t think I’ll suddenly become religious because of this man, but it definitely got me thinking. While I don’t typically go into an Uber or cab ride expecting to be preached, I was fascinated, and I could see how happy it made him to have me listen.

Here’s to more interesting experiences with Uber drivers.  I always enjoy them!

Dear OCD…

Honestly, I usually don’t feel a lot of anger.  I spend a lot of time feeling anxious, euphoric, depressed, and content, but I don’t find myself angry often.  But as life goes on, I’m finding that I’m pretty unhappy with OCD.  While I’ve previously written about embracing my mental disabilities (and these writings still hold true), right now I just need to vent TO my disorder about what a pain it can be for me.  So here goes…

Dear OCD,

Seriously, stop being so mean.  I’m tired of you being a [insert not so nice expletive here].  I wish that you’d just cooperate with me and get out of my life for a little while.  You do disappear sometimes, but just not enough.  You never really go away.

You’re always lurking behind every corner.

And I hate you for that.

You’ve tried to ruin relationships that I’ve had with both others and myself.  You’ve made me question my sanity, my intentions, my sense of being, the world around me, many, many times.  It’s the nature of what you do– “the doubting disease” being your other name.  

You used to make me engage in more obvious compulsions but these days most of them are silent and internal… covert.  In some ways this is more torturous, as others don’t see the pain that goes on over and over again inside my head.

I used to think the worst part about you was the anxiety, but lately I’ve decided it’s the guilt.  The guilt and the doubt.  The constant state of confusion you leave me in.  It’s torturous and I’ve described it countless times as it feeling like having thorns scratch and poke through my brain.  

While you change your shape and form, I’m often able to recognize you and your irrationality.  However, just because I know you’re full of lies, it doesn’t mean I can escape your grasp.  Medicine helps alleviate you, but only a little.  My therapist and I are going to work harder to stomp out the fires you’ve been creating inside my head.

You make me feel uncertain and fearful, and oftentimes, it leads to self loathing because I never really feel sure.  I’m going to keep fighting you, but it’s my right to tell you I’m pissed.  I’m tired of your games.

Sincerely, someone who’s exhausted

P.S. I believe I’ll be okay… it’s you who should be worried.